Sigh

Epilepsy sucks. Rob's seizures simply drain the life out of me. I'm becoming more desensitized to actually watching them, but with every additional one, it's harder for me to recover emotionally. Today is one of those days.

So we started our day at 4:30am waking the kids and heading to the ER. He hasn't missed any medication, which means we needed to determine where his drug levels were. He tested low, which is a good thing in the sense that a medication adjustment should help, but it's a bad thing in that we don't know what caused it to fall (the levels had fallen by half). So they advised that he take three doses today, and follow up with his doc on Monday. No additional instructions for tomorrow.

Epilepsy sucks. I'm ready for him to be better, and every time this happens that he's been at home, I'm left to ponder the odds of the next one being in a car, or while he's just carrying Jake around the house. He's going to have more. There's no doubt. I just wonder who the next person is who will be hurt, and when. And I feel sick when I realize that I'm actually *hoping* that it's *just* him, and no one else.